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Christmas Celebration Tips:


Christmas Celebration Tips

Yep, this is going out late I just got finished wrapping gifts, whew!

Christmas Celebration Tips

As the Christmas season begins, I want to pass along these celebratory tips. Enjoy the spirit of the festivities!

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It’s rare …. You cannot find it any other time of year. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an “eggnog-a-holic” or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As to the mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your appetite. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. And lots of it. Hell-o-ooo?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 7-pound plate of food and a tumbler of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies or pralines in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the requisite celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re-read tips & start over. But hurry … January is just around the corner.


4 responses

  1. Merry Christmas Ed!
    The Christmas season fills our hearts with joy;
    Bright, happy days bring special kinds of pleasure.
    We’re wrapped in the excitement of it all,
    The sights, the sounds, the smells, the tastes we treasure.
    Yet when we have some quiet time to think
    About our finest blessings all year through,
    We focus on our family and our friends,
    And appreciate the gift of knowing you!

    Big hug, Nikki

    December 25, 2010 at 11:54 AM

  2. SethPopowich

    Great Diet Plan… I like the way you think. So I guess you are going to do another post after the holidays about how how to lose all the pounds that we are going to pack on.
    You also reminded me of egg nog. I have to go the grocery store and pick some up.
    Cheers to you Ed!

    December 24, 2010 at 10:53 PM

  3. Sherry Edwardson

    I plan on following each and every rule lol.

    Merry Christmas Ed!

    December 24, 2010 at 7:57 AM

  4. This list of tips is hilarious!!
    Wow you’ve really built up your space since my visit! Looking wonderful and christmassy here.
    Only two more days til Christmas!!

    Big hug,

    December 23, 2010 at 12:21 PM

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