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Retirement doesn’t have to be boring………

A few days ago my best friend from high school sent me a ‘Viet Nam Veteran’ cap. I never had one of these before, and I was pretty hyped about it, especially because my friend Ronn was considerate enough to take the time to give it to me.

Yesterday, I wore it when I went to Walmart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world’s largest retailer; but, since I retired, trips to Wally World to look at the Walmartians is always good for some comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment. But, I digress…enough of my psychological fixations.

While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, “Are you a Viet Nam Vet?”

“No,” I replied.

“Then why are you wearing that cap?”

“Because I couldn’t find the one from the War of 1812.” I thought it was a snappy retort.

“The War of 1812, huh?” the Walmartian queried, “When was that?”

God forgive me, but I couldn’t pass up such an opportunity.

“1936,” I answered as straight-faced as possible.

He pondered my response for a moment and responded, “Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?”

“It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know about it.”

This was beginning to be way fun!

“Dude! Really?” he exclaimed. “How did you get to do something that COOOOL?”

I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice said, “I’m not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission.”

“Dude,” he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, “that is seriously awesome! But, didn’t you kind of stand out?”

“Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage.”

The moron nodded knowingly.

“Listen man,” I said in a very serious tone, “You can’t tell anyone about this. It’s still ‘top secret’ and I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Oh yeah?” he gave me the ‘don’t threaten me look.’

“Like, what’s gonna happen if I do?” 

With a really hard look I said, “You have a family don’t you? We wouldn’t want anything to happen to them, would we?”

The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. By this time the lady behind me was about to have a heart attack she was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her.

After checking out and going to the parking lot I saw Dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly in my direction. Giving him another ‘deadly’ serious look, I made the ‘I see you’ gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot.

What a great time!

Tomorrow I’m going back with a Homeland Security cap.

Whoever said retirement is boring just needs the right kind of cap! 

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26 responses

  1. Deb

    Great posting, Ed!
    Have a most wonderful day!
    Hugs xx

    June 19, 2012 at 1:07 PM

    • Thank you Deb, and also for your nice comment you left…..
      Hugs
      Ed

      June 19, 2012 at 2:10 PM

  2. Androgoth

    Great posting Ed…
    Have a fun weekend
    and enjoy your Elvis 🙂

    Androgoth

    June 16, 2012 at 9:52 AM

    • Thank you Androgoth, and yes I will have a nice weekend. May you have one also!
      Ed

      June 17, 2012 at 12:09 AM

  3. Looking good Ed….glad to be of help 🙂
    Have a rocking weekend you
    Hugs Traceyxx

    June 15, 2012 at 10:29 AM

    • Thanks again Tracey, you are a good person and proud to know you.
      Ed

      June 15, 2012 at 9:37 PM

  4. Hi Ed,
    I see you’re an Elvis fan! He made such great songs, and had such a wonderful charm I dont think anyone can not love Elvis! I have some friends only in their late 20’s who love him so much they collect all sorts of his memorbilia and have it around their house.
    Hilarious post, I’d love to read what happens when he wears that homeland security cap lol.
    Big hug, Nikki

    June 13, 2012 at 10:17 PM

    • Hi Nikki, yes, Elvis was the man, or King of Rock n Roll…. one of my favorite singers.Thank for the nice comment Nikkie, have a nice day….
      Ed

      June 14, 2012 at 9:37 PM

  5. Yes, I noticed these changes too on mixpod Ed and it is a bummer but luckyily I discovered how to decode it. So, if you would send me your code that is the part you copy for (other sites) then I will work it out for you. It is complicated and will take me a while but I like decoding 🙂
    Thanks for dropping in…hugs Traceyxx

    June 12, 2012 at 12:01 PM

  6. Hey rock and roll…very nice changes here Ed.
    Hope you are well..and a great start to your week.
    Hugs Traceyxx

    June 10, 2012 at 1:21 PM

    • Thank you Tracey, and a great week for you also…..
      Ed

      June 10, 2012 at 8:53 PM

    • Thank you Marko, your pictures are breath taking….. good job.
      Ed

      June 8, 2012 at 9:32 PM

  7. LOL good one ED
    Enjoy your day
    Sheila

    June 5, 2012 at 8:37 AM

    • Thank you Sheila, I hope it brought a little to your day….. thanks for the nice comment.
      Ed

      June 5, 2012 at 1:25 PM

  8. Deb

    Oh Ed! 🙂
    Hey there, my friend! Hope you plan on having a great day! Hugs xx

    June 3, 2012 at 6:24 AM

    • Thanks Deb, I plan on having a great day every day I wake up….. lol.
      Ed

      June 3, 2012 at 10:30 PM

  9. Good story Ed! LOL

    June 2, 2012 at 4:16 PM

    • Thank you Beth, glad you liked it….lol.
      Ed

      June 2, 2012 at 8:33 PM

  10. augusto Machado

    Lucky guy, I wish I could have one of those civil Yankiees war cap, my favorite. Nothing against the “Rebels”…lol…

    June 2, 2012 at 9:50 AM

    • Hi Augusto, yes that would be a good one to wear…. lol.
      Ed

      June 2, 2012 at 8:34 PM

  11. Very funny, Ed!

    June 2, 2012 at 1:11 AM

    • Thanks Tom for your nice comment. Have a nice weekend.
      Ed

      June 2, 2012 at 8:34 PM

  12. Oh ED!!! PMSL!!! 🙂

    God Bless you my friend!!! 🙂

    Prenin.

    June 1, 2012 at 11:13 PM

    • Thank you Prenin, and God Bless you also my friend!
      Ed

      June 2, 2012 at 8:35 PM

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